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I've gone places and done things. Some things I can't discuss. I've forgotten how to use software that were 'state of the art' before you graduated from Elementary School. I'm really good at drinking coffee. If I'm not putting numbers into little boxes, you can find me by the coffee machine bragging to interns about all the floppy disks and CD-ROMS I have of pirated software. Always looking for new opportunities to drink coffee.
Career Progression: 💵 Paid Intern
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Bain W. Kuang 🐀 • 10-13-21
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THAT Secretary 💋 • 10-6-21
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Bain W. Kuang 🐀 • 9-30-21
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Neon Rusk PIMP, DILF • 9-19-21
Reviews
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Showed me his floppy disc 💾
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Every business has a "Dave from accounting" and now I know why. "Dave" is actually an accounting hivemind controlled by a central intelligence with drones across the world. I'm through the looking glass now and am forever changed. Stygian vistas of emptiness fill my mind when I close my eyes. 5 star
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Feb. 26, 2024
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Sep. 12, 2023
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Oct. 4, 2021
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Sep. 27, 2021
Endorsements
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Fixing spreadsheets
Dabbing up the coffee drips with your tie
Nice guy
Mediocre at Self Promotion.
Hides our faults during earnings
Cooking the books
Finding tactical solutions to strategic problems.
Accounting
Doesn't fuck up my coffee order too often
Wears corduroy pants only on fridays.
Making a mean alcoholic beverage
DFAS Double-Entry Ledger Contest, March, 1971 1st
Ideal face to crawl on
money scented bath bombs
Always shares data in PDF format
number gimnastics
Knows how to look busy
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