Your neighborhood druglord, restoring magic to your universe


To get ahead in the world of military strategy, you’ve got to be ready to leave things behind. Preconceptions about other people, misgivings about yourself, tough times, children/spouses, mistakes you’ve made, your former boss, shoes—whatever it takes. I’m willing to do that. And if you’re looking for someone with over 18 years of war crimes experience, you’ve found her. If it helps, I tried to murder half my former coworkers.

Started Shlinkin' Jun. 23, 2021
Career Progression: 💼 Middle Manager
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Trophy Case


    Participation Trophy

    Jul. 24, 2023


    The Quill of Business

    Dec. 13, 2022


    Participation Trophy

    Nov. 14, 2022


    Networking Virginity

    Nov. 11, 2022


    Participation Trophy

    Apr. 18, 2022


    ShlinkedIn Conference Attendee

    Sep. 17, 2021


    Marketer of the Week

    Aug. 2, 2021


    JIF Peanut Butter Creamy Runner Up

    Jul. 12, 2021

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Blowing stuff up

Taking prisoners

Distracting She-Ra

Attempting to murder your boss

Saving the universe

Doesn't ask about my medical license.



Lot of meows

Growth Hacking Expert

Knowing where the bodies are.

Puked on my carpet

Many children


Laser pointer

Actually Murdered The Other Half Too

Very Popular 😉

Capable of murder 🥵

Beautiful shiny fur I'd like to lick

Straight To The Point