Balancing The Scales of Justice (and Dinosaurs)

News Dinosaurs Demand Funding for Resurrection Research and Revenge Against Asteroid

By Sergeant L. Febrezeius

Balancing The Scales of Justice (and Dinosaurs)

In a surprise move, a group of dinosaurs has gathered outside Congress, demanding funding for research to bring them back to life and take revenge against the asteroid that led to their extinction millions of years ago. According to the protesters, they have come up with a plan to use the latest in AI technology, specifically OpenAI's GPT-3 model, ChatGPT, to track down the asteroid and destroy it before it can cause another mass extinction.

According to witnesses, the group, which includes species such as Triceratops and T-Rex, has been peacefully protesting outside the Capitol building, holding signs with slogans such as "Resurrection Now," and "Rraaaawwwrrrgrrrrrgraaaaaw"

The dinosaurs have been met with a mix of surprise and amusement by Congress members and passersby. "I never thought I'd see the day when T-Rexes would be picketing outside our doors," said one representative, trying to stifle a chuckle.

Despite the lighthearted nature of the situation, the dinosaurs are taking their demands seriously. "We have been extinct for far too long, and it's time for us to reclaim our rightful place as the dominant species on this planet," said a Triceratops, speaking on behalf of the group.

The dinosaurs' representative has stated that they have a detailed plan on how to use the latest technology to locate and destroy the asteroid, they claim to have been working with OpenAI scientists to fine-tune the model and develop a precise plan to locate the asteroid, and use advanced technology to destroy it before it can cause another mass extinction.

According to OpenAI's chief scientist, Dr. X "We are constantly looking for ways to improve ChatGPT and push the boundaries of what's possible with language models. While the current version of ChatGPT is not capable of destroying asteroids, we are in the early stages of developing an update that will allow for the control of advanced technology, such as spacecraft and weapons. Of course, this technology will only be used for peaceful and scientific purposes"

According to a statement from OpenAI CEO, John Smith, the update is set to revolutionize the way we interact with and control technology. "ChatGPT's new abilities will allow us to not only protect the planet from asteroid threats, make the perfect cup of coffee, but also read minds and flush toilets with just a voice command," he said.

The hearing is set to take place next week, and it's expected to draw a crowd of curious onlookers. The fate of the dinosaurs' demands remains uncertain, but one thing is for sure - this is one congressional hearing that is sure to be prehistoric in every sense of the word.

Critics have raised concerns about the ethical implications of giving a machine such power and control, as well as the possibility of it being hacked or used for malicious purposes.

OpenAI, however, assures that the update will come with rigorous safety measures and that ChatGPT will only be used for peaceful and beneficial purposes.